His Son's Father (Death Note, Oneshot)

Aishuu Offers:
His Son's Father
Disclaimer: Oona and Ogata
Notes: Spoilers for... 20? Let's say that.



The house is dark by the time Yagami arrives home. He isn't surprised; it has been nearly a week since he has been home, and he knows that his family isn't expecting him - but tomorrow Raito will graduate from high school, and he wants to be there when his son wakes up in the morning to share the moment and to wish him well.

He has been missing so many of the important things lately. The Kira investigation is taking too much of his time, and he knows that he is obsessed with capturing a man who may not even exist. He can't remember the last time he's gone for an hour without thinking of Kira, the phantom who kills from afar.

As he crosses the threshold of the door, he pauses to take off his shoes, but doesn't bother to turn on the lights. His family is sleeping inside. What he wants is to go upstairs and slide into bed beside Sachiko, take her in his arms and pretend for the evening that things are as they should be, that things haven't changed.

Coming into his home doesn't feel safe anymore, not since L forced him to betray his family. He did it for their own protection, but when he ordered that cameras be placed to watch his wife and children, he turned upon them, defining himself as a policeman above all.

"Welcome home, father," a soft voice says, and he almost jumps out of his skin at hearing a voice float out of the darkness. He had thought everyone in bed, as it is after midnight, but his son is still awake.

"Raito?" he asks, even though he would have recognized his son's voice anywhere. There is a cultured, precise edge to it is unmistakable, a careful enunciation that is uncommon in the teenaged, but then Raito is an uncommon teenager. Raito has always been his pride and joy. Raito is perfection in human form, he sometimes thinks, blessed with looks and brains and amazing compassion. He's way ahead of the curve, and Yagami sometimes cannot believe that Raito is his son.

He hears the sound of someone moving around, the soft shuffle of slippered feet as his son approaches. "It's good to see you," Raito says. He is close by, probably less than three feet away, but without any form of illumination, Yagami can't be sure.

"I can't see anything in this darkness. Let me get a light," Yagami said. He wants to see Raito, see the features that he's only seen in surveillance photographs and videotape, remind himself that Raito is real and not some suspect for a case. Despite what L says, he will not believe his son is Kira. He remembers raising him, and there is no way the boy who he taught to ride a bike would ever become a self-righteous killer. Raito believes in justice, and there is no justice in Kira's actions.

"Don't bother. I've got tea on the stove in the kitchen, and your favorite biscuits as well, if you're not too tired." There's warmth and affection in Raito's tone, along with a sense of forgiveness that Yagami feels he does not deserve.

He is familiar enough with the house to find the kitchen without any lights, and he follows the sound of Raito's footsteps without concern for bumping into anything. The light peeks from around of the cracks of the door, and he sees his son's shadowed form open the door.

The light makes him squint in pain as his eyes adjust, but Raito is already moving to the stove, grabbing an oven mitt and removing the metal kettle deftly. His son is skilled at most things, and Yagami sighs as he heads over to the table, loosening his tie and shrugging out of his suit jacket. There is an ashtray on the table without any sign of recent use, and that seems to be the most accusatory thing of all.

The kitchen is as he remembers it, warm and familiar, but he can't feel comfortable here anymore. It is strange, but he feels he isn't a part of this household anymore. Yagami is a visitor in his own home, and as his son prepares to serve him, he freezes slightly, remembering the time he spent watching this room with L. It had been the most painful surveillance work of his career. L had assured him it had been necessary, and he had agreed, but that doesn't make up for abusing the trust his family had in them.

He had wanted to exonerate them. He had wanted to prove that his children were innocent, that his wife was exactly as she appeared, but in the end all he had done was let L turn them into a bunch of voyeurs. He had learned things about his son which had surprised him, but those things just prove that Raito is just a normal teenager, despite how paranoid L is.

He hates L for that. L always watches Raito more closely than anyone else, apparently fascinated by his son. He knows Raito is the type of person who stands out simply by being himself, but there is no reason to believe he is Kira. Raito has helped him catch criminals in the past; he is not about to become one.

Raito is across from him, setting down the teapot on top of a coaster which is already in place. There's also two cups, and fresh tea already in strainers, just waiting for the hot water, and Yagami can't find it in himself to be surprised. Raito has always been the type to plan things out throughly.

"Why are you still up?" he asks, smiling as his son pours the water into the delicate stripped cup, European in style, and waving off the sugar cube before Raito has a chance to drop it. It's too late to for him to have it, it will keep him awake, and he wants to be awake tomorrow.

There's an elegant shrug of the shoulders, and then Raito slides into the seat across from him. "I thought you'd be home," he says. He ignores the tea in front of him, and instead threads his fingers together and rests his elbows on the table. Yagami knows Raito is going to wait for the tea to cool before drinking it, since Raito once burned himself on a cup that was too hot when younger and is now overly cautious.

It's strange what a parent remembers.

"I wanted to wish you luck tomorrow," he tells his son, wishing there was a way he could explain more. He wants to tell him about the Kira investigation, to apologize for ever letting him be suspected and followed, for being a poor father, but there is nothing he can do. All he can do is wait for the tea to brew, and stare at the man his son is becoming.

The cheekbones are more pronounced than he had remembered, and the eyes seem a bit older, but there is still something innocent in his expression. It seems like yesterday when Raito was a child, wearing a shiny fake badge and wanting to play cops and robbers, but now he is leaving high school and preparing to major in law enforcement. It's an honor that his son wants to follow in his footsteps, and every time he looks at Raito, he is filled with pride - but now that pride is tinted with his own shame.

The smile Raito offers is full of empathy. "I would have understood if you couldn't. The Kira investigation is important. You're still in charge of it, aren't you?" It's a rhetorical question, and it's a question Yagami can't answer. None of the investigators are allowed to say anything to their families anymore. He opens his mouth to deny any particular position, but Raito shakes his head. "Sorry, dad. I know you can't say anything. I just meant that your work is important, and I understand."

He tries not to show his relief. Never before did he have to watch what he said to Raito. His son had been invaluable in the past as he sorted out his thoughts, and Yagami wants nothing more than to work through the evidence with his son offering keen insight. "I know you do. How have your mother and Sayu been?"

"They miss you, but they're proud of your work. I've been helping around the house as much as I can, and Sayu's really been working hard. Her grades have been slipping a little, but I tutored her a bit in math, and that's sorted itself out." Raito traces his slender fingers along the cup, and then looks up through shadowed eyes. "It's okay, father. We know your heart is here with us."

He wonders about that sometimes. Sometimes it seems like Kira has consumed his entire existence, that he would sell his very soul if it would guarantee the chance to capture him. At night, when he catches a brief rest on the futons L has set up within the hotel room they are using as headquarters, he dreams about his family, and reflects on what things were like before the deaths began to occur. Life was simpler then, when he was a family man with a proud career as a policeman, and he had two wonderful children and a wife whom he loved. He would hang out with the guys once a week at the bar, and occasionally spend time playing shogi with a couple of old classmates. His cases had been hard, and sometimes the criminals did get away, but he had always believed that eventually, justice would triumph.

He wasn't so sure now. Kira had changed all the rules, acting with god like power, and a part of him wondered if the people who claimed that Kira was an agent of a high being might not have been right. It seemed like Kira was always ahead of them, and his abilities simply weren't human to begin with.

But then L would tell him Kira was a petulant brat, and Yagami would agree.

He removed the strainer from the tea, putting it on the saucer and finally taking a sip. It was still hot, nearly scalding, but the black tea was bitter enough to sharpen his senses. "How did your entrance exams go?"

"Well enough. I only took one. I'm going to Touou," Raito said. He pushes a lock of hair behind his ear, and tilts his head sideways in the manner he uses when he's about to tease someone.

He knows he shouldn't rise to the bait, but Raito's eyes are glinting, and Yagami wants to laugh with him. "Shouldn't you have looked at other universities?"

"Why? I'm the top student on many of the national exams, so getting in Touou wasn't a problem. It has the best law enforcement program in the nation." He grins. "I understand one of their alumni is the director of the Tokyo Police."

It's so hard not to burst with pride, at knowing his son wants to attend his alma mater. "Your acceptance came?" he asks.

"Two weeks ago."

It feels like getting hit in the stomach, realizing that he missed that celebration. Raito merely quirks an eyebrow. "Are you going to be able to come home in time for dinner tonight?" he asks.

He wants to promise that he can, but he knows that it won't happen. L had been reluctant to let him leave for this long, and there is no telling how severe Kira's next major plan will be. Criminals are dying daily, but L says that Kira will act more openly if they get too close. Even though he's pledged himself to that goal, and understands it may mean his life, he is afraid.

"I think I'll have to work," he says finally. He will instead eat dinner with L, and see shadows of his son in the other youth. He doesn't know much about the young man he calls Ryuuzaki, but there's an unconscious charisma to the boy. He and Raito are nothing alike physically, but he has a feeling they are kindred spirits. He wants desperately to be allowed to bring Raito into the investigation, because he knows that if Raito and L meet, there is nothing the two couldn't accomplish between them - but L suspects Raito still. Another part of him is selfishly glad Raito is forbidden from participating, because he doesn't want his son risking his life.

"That's okay. I'll keep an eye on Sayu and mother."

Yagami shuts his eyes, before draining the cup of tea which is too bitter. He should have allowed Raito to sweeten it for him, but it is too late now. "Thank you," he whispers, before opening his eyes.

Raito looks at his own cup and finally picks it up. It takes him fifteen seconds to polish the cup off, and then he smiles. "Next time, I'll have sake ready," he promises.

"You're still too young."

"I'm eighteen."

The words hang between them, and Yagami doesn't know what to say. He treats his son like an adult most of the time, but he wants to keep Raito innocent as well. Finally Raito looks at the clock, which is approaching one. "Why don't you go get some rest? I'll clean up after you."

"I'll handle it," Yagami volunteers. It's the least he can do for the son who is trying so very hard to do whatever he can. "You have graduation tomorrow. Don't worry about the dishes, get some sleep."

Raito looks ready to argue, but then changes his mind. "Thanks, father." He rises to his feet, and in a lithe movement stretches, a long body motion that extends his entire length as he throws his arms over his head, reaching for the sky. "We'll have breakfast tomorrow."

"Sounds good," Yagami says, smiling back at his handsome, intelligent son. He can't make a promise to be there when Raito wakes, because Kira can act at any time.

Raito is at the door to the hallway before he pauses, turning around to look over his shoulder. "Father?"

"Yes?" Yagami wonders if there's something he's forgotten, or if now is the time to give the speech about manhood he'd always planned, even though he thinks it's probably a superfluous gesture. His son is too mature, and Yagami counts his blessings that Raito is Raito, and not anyone else.

"If anyone can catch Kira, you can," Raito says. All playfulness has flown; Yagami is reminded of that day a few months ago when Raito vowed to catch Kira himself if anything happened to his father. Then he smiles slightly, and before Yagami can wish him a good night, Raito disappears into the darkness of the hallway, carefully shutting the door behind him.

END